This is the first day I've felt sorry for myself. It's just a sucky time to be trapped in the hospital.
I had a quiet night last night. Carlos stayed with me, and I like having him here. It soothes me to know he's right beside me on the pull out couch in case anything happens. At about 7AM, I started having contractions. And pink spotting again....
They did the NST this AM and Sebastian kept moving but kicking off the monitor. He had at least 2 accelerations, but only one showed up on the tracing. Then, out of a total of maybe 40 minutes that I was on the monitor, he didn't trace for 10-15 minutes of it. The nurse just couldn't get him to stay on. The frustrating thing was that I could, but I couldn't really tell the nurse to just let me do it. But instead of giving him the extra time to try to have an acceleration once we finally got him on the monitors again, the nurse gave him 2 minutes and just turned off the monitors and gave up. I felt cheated. And because of this, I now have to go for an ultrasound. This would all be fine if it weren't THANKSGIVING. I want to see my family this afternoon. They are coming to visit and to bring plates of Thanksgiving food. I don't want to miss it because I'm downstairs. Or worse yet, if they don't randomly catch the practice breathing, I may end up on the labor floor being monitored where I can't really have visitors. I'm frustrated and, frankly, fed up. But it is what it is. The babies come first.
To change the tone, here are some of the things I'm thankful for this year.
1. 2 little mischievous boys in my belly
2. The almost 6 weeks I've spent in the hospital that bought these guys more time in my belly
3. A wonderful, supportive husband who loves me and the babies
4. A family who is ready to step in and help at a moment's notice when there is a crisis
5. Carlos's fast recovery from the appendectomy
6. Friends who have supported and come to visit me to keep me company while I've been in the hospital
7. A job that has been supportive throughout this ordeal
8. Carlos's job which has also been supportive and which provides our amazing health insurance
9. A better relationship with our neighbors downstairs since a bad relationship ruined the entire fall and Christmas season for me last year
10. My health
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
More of the same...
Only when you're on bed rest is more of the same a good thing. The past 2 days have been relatively quiet, although not without their little adventures.
Monday I was due for an ultrasound. I have scheduled ultrasounds 2x a week, Mondays and Thursdays. If the babies do not pass the NST, then I have an unscheduled ultrasound. Anyway, on Monday, Adrian didn't want to do his practice breathing. Babies don't do practice breathing constantly. It's more of a sporadic performance that the doctors hope to catch during an ultrasound as part of the Biophysical Profile. In fact, they are supposed to watch the babies for a half an hour to give them a chance to breathe. We probably waited close to a half an hour, and Adrian just wasn't doing it. Everything else was fine, but not practice breathing. This meant getting sent to the labor floor for more fetal monitoring (NST) and an unexpected ultrasound on Tuesday to see if he'd breathe then.
Carlos was feeling better after his surgery, so he made the trip to the hospital to be with me for the ultrasound on Tuesday. Luckily, both babies decided to behave/cooperate and breathe!
Last night was a relatively quiet night in terms of contractions. I was able to sleep most of the night, although I still wake up every few hours to go to the bathroom! At about 6:30, the nurses came in to monitor the babies and I went to the bathroom. Damn. I had a tiny bit of pink spotting. This is the second time I've had a bit of pink. The first time it was heavier and they sent me down to the labor floor because I was also having contractions. This time, they just did an NST in my room. The babies looked fine, so they didn't send me down to the labor floor. Phew!
I really wish I were at home putting up Christmas decorations and doing festive things to get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm thinking by the time I get out of the hospital, I probably won't even bother putting up a tree or the Christmas decorations. We'll be back and forth to the hospital every day to see the babies, and I'm just not sure I want to spend the time. But I hate the idea of not doing something to make up for being on bed rest in the hospital for 5+ weeks. I guess we'll see how I feel. Maybe I'll put up a small tree.
I was watching the Barefoot Contessa the other day (as I do every day 2x a day these days) and it was one of her Thanksgiving specials. She had Christmas lights strung along her counter tops in and among the glass containers. It looked very festive and is extremely easy to do. I definitely want to steal this idea....
Monday I was due for an ultrasound. I have scheduled ultrasounds 2x a week, Mondays and Thursdays. If the babies do not pass the NST, then I have an unscheduled ultrasound. Anyway, on Monday, Adrian didn't want to do his practice breathing. Babies don't do practice breathing constantly. It's more of a sporadic performance that the doctors hope to catch during an ultrasound as part of the Biophysical Profile. In fact, they are supposed to watch the babies for a half an hour to give them a chance to breathe. We probably waited close to a half an hour, and Adrian just wasn't doing it. Everything else was fine, but not practice breathing. This meant getting sent to the labor floor for more fetal monitoring (NST) and an unexpected ultrasound on Tuesday to see if he'd breathe then.
Carlos was feeling better after his surgery, so he made the trip to the hospital to be with me for the ultrasound on Tuesday. Luckily, both babies decided to behave/cooperate and breathe!
Last night was a relatively quiet night in terms of contractions. I was able to sleep most of the night, although I still wake up every few hours to go to the bathroom! At about 6:30, the nurses came in to monitor the babies and I went to the bathroom. Damn. I had a tiny bit of pink spotting. This is the second time I've had a bit of pink. The first time it was heavier and they sent me down to the labor floor because I was also having contractions. This time, they just did an NST in my room. The babies looked fine, so they didn't send me down to the labor floor. Phew!
I really wish I were at home putting up Christmas decorations and doing festive things to get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm thinking by the time I get out of the hospital, I probably won't even bother putting up a tree or the Christmas decorations. We'll be back and forth to the hospital every day to see the babies, and I'm just not sure I want to spend the time. But I hate the idea of not doing something to make up for being on bed rest in the hospital for 5+ weeks. I guess we'll see how I feel. Maybe I'll put up a small tree.
I was watching the Barefoot Contessa the other day (as I do every day 2x a day these days) and it was one of her Thanksgiving specials. She had Christmas lights strung along her counter tops in and among the glass containers. It looked very festive and is extremely easy to do. I definitely want to steal this idea....
Monday, November 21, 2011
32 weeks
Another big milestone today. 32 weeks!!! I feel good about this. Carlos is absolutely convinced because of a dream that he had that the babies will be born next Sunday, 11/27. I'm not sure...I'd love to make it that far (or longer), but the nights are so long and filled with painful cramping and contractions, that I'm not sure how much longer my uterus or cervix will hold out!! 11/27 would be almost 33 weeks (one day short), so that would be a lovely goal to make...
My Aunt, nana, and mom brought Carlos to see me for a short while yesterday. It was so nice to see him finally after his surgery. It was pretty funny--my 86-year-old Nana brought him into my room in a wheelchair!!! Too funny!
He looked great--except for his eye. For some reason a blood vessel burst in his right eye and it's all bloody. It looks scary!! In fact, it looks scarier than his operation wounds, which don't look like much at all! They went in through his belly button, so you can barely see anything at all. It's amazing what they can do these days! Anyway, they brought in an eye doctor to look at his eye before they sent him home, and hopefully, it will heal quickly. Our good friend Gloria swung by while Carlos and my famly was here. She brought us the most delicious crepes and soup for lunch....she kept me company for a good while, too. Carlos and my family had to take off because my aunt wasn't feeling well and we didn't want to tire Carlos out too much anyway.
Last night I literally turned off the light and the contractions fired up. Once they started, they WOULD NOT GO AWAY. They had me on an IV for a bit, which helped a little, but the pain returned with a vengeance once the IV was finished. I basically suffered through the night. In the AM, they nurse came in to do my NST. The babies now have to hit the 15x15 mark, not just 10x10. Baby 2 almost didn't pass, but pulled off 2 nice accelerations at the end. I had an ultrasound scheduled for today anyway (standing orders for Monday and Thursday), but it's obviously still nice when the babies do what they are supposed to do. The contractions started to die off a bit after the NST and I managed to sleep from around 8:30/9 until almost noon. That was really the only good sleep I got....just preparing me for motherhood, I guess...
I just got back from the ultrasound and BPP. Baby 2 got the max score. Baby 1 failed to do his practice breathing. He usually takes forever to do it, but comes through in the end. Today, he just wasn't having it. I'm wondering if that means I have to go back down for another ultrasound later or if they'll just make me go tomorrow. So annoying because we all know he's capable of breathing. He just decided not to do it when we were looking.
It's looking more and more like Adrian Jonathan will be Baby One's name and Sebastian Diego will be Baby Two. So I'll start referring to them as such.
I'm having a late lunch, and maybe another nap since I can't sleep at night. But I really need to do some freelance translation work. I just can't concentrate on anything serious (or so I tell myself) when I'm having contractions. Bedrest has become tough for me in this past week. Not so much because of boredom--I was managing that through a routine. It's because I'm scared of the nights and don't rest. It is frustrating!
I can't wait to get home and do some cleaning/nesting! We're in good shape with the babies' room etc, but there's still a lot to do before they come home!
My Aunt, nana, and mom brought Carlos to see me for a short while yesterday. It was so nice to see him finally after his surgery. It was pretty funny--my 86-year-old Nana brought him into my room in a wheelchair!!! Too funny!
He looked great--except for his eye. For some reason a blood vessel burst in his right eye and it's all bloody. It looks scary!! In fact, it looks scarier than his operation wounds, which don't look like much at all! They went in through his belly button, so you can barely see anything at all. It's amazing what they can do these days! Anyway, they brought in an eye doctor to look at his eye before they sent him home, and hopefully, it will heal quickly. Our good friend Gloria swung by while Carlos and my famly was here. She brought us the most delicious crepes and soup for lunch....she kept me company for a good while, too. Carlos and my family had to take off because my aunt wasn't feeling well and we didn't want to tire Carlos out too much anyway.
Last night I literally turned off the light and the contractions fired up. Once they started, they WOULD NOT GO AWAY. They had me on an IV for a bit, which helped a little, but the pain returned with a vengeance once the IV was finished. I basically suffered through the night. In the AM, they nurse came in to do my NST. The babies now have to hit the 15x15 mark, not just 10x10. Baby 2 almost didn't pass, but pulled off 2 nice accelerations at the end. I had an ultrasound scheduled for today anyway (standing orders for Monday and Thursday), but it's obviously still nice when the babies do what they are supposed to do. The contractions started to die off a bit after the NST and I managed to sleep from around 8:30/9 until almost noon. That was really the only good sleep I got....just preparing me for motherhood, I guess...
I just got back from the ultrasound and BPP. Baby 2 got the max score. Baby 1 failed to do his practice breathing. He usually takes forever to do it, but comes through in the end. Today, he just wasn't having it. I'm wondering if that means I have to go back down for another ultrasound later or if they'll just make me go tomorrow. So annoying because we all know he's capable of breathing. He just decided not to do it when we were looking.
It's looking more and more like Adrian Jonathan will be Baby One's name and Sebastian Diego will be Baby Two. So I'll start referring to them as such.
I'm having a late lunch, and maybe another nap since I can't sleep at night. But I really need to do some freelance translation work. I just can't concentrate on anything serious (or so I tell myself) when I'm having contractions. Bedrest has become tough for me in this past week. Not so much because of boredom--I was managing that through a routine. It's because I'm scared of the nights and don't rest. It is frustrating!
I can't wait to get home and do some cleaning/nesting! We're in good shape with the babies' room etc, but there's still a lot to do before they come home!
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Bed Rest without the Rest
I haven't written for a few days, and a lot has happened. I wish it had remained quiet! I can't get used to my new routine of "bed rest" without the "rest."
Thursday night, I had pretty uncomfortable contractions--the worst I'd experienced so far. As usual, I buzzed the nurse and got sent down to the labor rooms. They monitored me and the babies, and thankfully, everything looked ok. Eventually, with an IV in place, the contractions died down. But they did another white blood cell count (CBC) and it was back up to 17 again....they want it to be 15 or below. Once again, they were worried about infection. But I still felt fine!
The doctor on call decided to just keep me on the monitors and retest the CBC in a few hours. Luckily, the second time, the count was still over 15, but back down again. So they sent me back upstairs.
In the meantime, Carlos came to visit me Wednesday after work. He was fine--looking and acting like himself. The next morning, he called to tell me that he couldn't sleep because he had a dull ache on his lower right side. We both thought of appendicitis, so he called his doctor and got an appointment for that same morning. When he went to Tufts Medical Center to see his doctor, they did blood work, a urine sample, etc. and came to the conclusion that it didn't seem to be his appendix. He had none of the other related symptoms of fever, loss of appetite, etc. They scheduled him for a CT Scan on Friday morning at 9AM.
Poor Carlos knew the results of his CT scan almost immediately--at 9:30 he called to tell me it was, in fact, his appendix. They decided to operate that very same day. They just had to wait for an operating room. He called work to explain what was going on, and he went off to his hospital room to await an OR. He hadn't eaten since the night before (per the scan instructions), had to pay $7/day for TV in his room, and also had a roommate. It made my hospital room seem like the 4 Seasons...
They finally took him off to surgery around 5:30pm on Friday. By 10:30PM, I still hadn't heard from him, but wasn't too worried. I knew that they'd keep him in a recovery room somewhere before they'd return him to his room where his phone was. I figured no news was good news, and I went to bed to try to keep rested so that these babies will stay in my belly. My mother-in-law called from Mexico around 10:30 asking for news. She caught me half asleep and I tried to explain to her that I hadn't heard but that I was sure that he was in recovery and didn't have his phone. She asked me to call the hospital because she wanted to make sure. So I found the number and called, and sure enough, just as I called, the nurse was getting him settled into his room for the night. I called my mother-in-law back and asked Carlos to call her asap so she'd be at ease. I felt like a bad wife for not being more worried, but I knew I was the emergency contact, and since the hospital hadn't contacted me, I figured I should get rest and cook those babies in my belly!
Today, my brother and his wife went to visit Carlos and drove his car (parked in the hospital garage--neither one of us expected surgery for him!) home for him. He can't drive because of the pain meds. They also took these cute pictures:
That was his first solid meal in 2 days....Poor Carlos!
Now he's on his way home. My dad picked him up and will stay with him tonight in case he needs anything or in case he needs to come here to the hospital for me and the babies. Let's hope not--he needs his rest.
Let's hope all this activity and "adventure" ends now. We both need a quiet few days for the benefit of the babies!!
Thursday night, I had pretty uncomfortable contractions--the worst I'd experienced so far. As usual, I buzzed the nurse and got sent down to the labor rooms. They monitored me and the babies, and thankfully, everything looked ok. Eventually, with an IV in place, the contractions died down. But they did another white blood cell count (CBC) and it was back up to 17 again....they want it to be 15 or below. Once again, they were worried about infection. But I still felt fine!
The doctor on call decided to just keep me on the monitors and retest the CBC in a few hours. Luckily, the second time, the count was still over 15, but back down again. So they sent me back upstairs.
In the meantime, Carlos came to visit me Wednesday after work. He was fine--looking and acting like himself. The next morning, he called to tell me that he couldn't sleep because he had a dull ache on his lower right side. We both thought of appendicitis, so he called his doctor and got an appointment for that same morning. When he went to Tufts Medical Center to see his doctor, they did blood work, a urine sample, etc. and came to the conclusion that it didn't seem to be his appendix. He had none of the other related symptoms of fever, loss of appetite, etc. They scheduled him for a CT Scan on Friday morning at 9AM.
Poor Carlos knew the results of his CT scan almost immediately--at 9:30 he called to tell me it was, in fact, his appendix. They decided to operate that very same day. They just had to wait for an operating room. He called work to explain what was going on, and he went off to his hospital room to await an OR. He hadn't eaten since the night before (per the scan instructions), had to pay $7/day for TV in his room, and also had a roommate. It made my hospital room seem like the 4 Seasons...
They finally took him off to surgery around 5:30pm on Friday. By 10:30PM, I still hadn't heard from him, but wasn't too worried. I knew that they'd keep him in a recovery room somewhere before they'd return him to his room where his phone was. I figured no news was good news, and I went to bed to try to keep rested so that these babies will stay in my belly. My mother-in-law called from Mexico around 10:30 asking for news. She caught me half asleep and I tried to explain to her that I hadn't heard but that I was sure that he was in recovery and didn't have his phone. She asked me to call the hospital because she wanted to make sure. So I found the number and called, and sure enough, just as I called, the nurse was getting him settled into his room for the night. I called my mother-in-law back and asked Carlos to call her asap so she'd be at ease. I felt like a bad wife for not being more worried, but I knew I was the emergency contact, and since the hospital hadn't contacted me, I figured I should get rest and cook those babies in my belly!
Today, my brother and his wife went to visit Carlos and drove his car (parked in the hospital garage--neither one of us expected surgery for him!) home for him. He can't drive because of the pain meds. They also took these cute pictures:
That was his first solid meal in 2 days....Poor Carlos!
Now he's on his way home. My dad picked him up and will stay with him tonight in case he needs anything or in case he needs to come here to the hospital for me and the babies. Let's hope not--he needs his rest.
Let's hope all this activity and "adventure" ends now. We both need a quiet few days for the benefit of the babies!!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
More drama....
Well, yesterday was NOT fun day. I woke up around 1AM early Tuesday morning to contractions that were stronger than any that I had experienced before. They weren't terribly painful, but I certainly noticed them more than any of the contractions I'd had before. And, they seemed to be coming pretty regularly--to the tune of every 5-10 minutes. After over an hour of trying to time them and deny that they were there, I buzzed the nurse. They put me on the NST monitors, and kept me in my room for a while.
The babies looked mostly fine, but I continued to contract. Baby One had a few decelerations during the contractions. So, that made them want to make sure he was tolerating the contractions ok. So they sent me back down to the labor and delivery floor. Third time in less than a week. I stayed there for a few hours, and when they were convinced the babies were ok, they sent me back up to my room on the recovery floor.
I thought I was in the clear. But around noon, my doctor came in with the doctor from the OB/GYN practice group who was actually on call yesterday. Not a good sign when 2 doctors come in to see you. It turns out, my CBC (white blood cell) count was a bit higher than they would have liked yesterday. They want to see it below 15. It was 18 on Thurs/Friday when I had first gone down for contractions. They chalked it up to the steroid shots I'd had earlier last week. The count was 17 yesterday. So it had gone down, but was still elevated. They were starting to suspect maybe there was an infection brewing. Oh boy.
It was Carlos's birthday, and he was having lunch with some friends of the office. The doctors told me to tell him go to lunch while they consulted with the Maternal and Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctors. However, they warned me that they may do amniocentesis to check Baby One's fluid (the one with the ruptured membrane) for infection. And, if there was any sign at all of infection, they'd induce me or do a C-section the same day. After Carlos was finished with lunch, we still hadn't heard back regarding what the plan was. So he came directly here.
Finally, a MFM doctor came to see us. The said that after much discussion, they had decided that I probably don't have an infection yet. They decided not to do the amnio and to just keep monitoring my vitals. They also decided to draw blood for a CBC count more often to make sure it was moving in the right direction. What a relief! I am not ready to deliver! I'll be 32 weeks on Monday, and they tell me there is a huge difference in brain development even between where I am now (31 weeks 3 days) and 32 weeks. So I want to at least make that goal. At the same time, it is looking less and less like I will make it to the ultimate goal of 12/8. You never know, but I'm not sure how much longer we can stave off labor or infection! I'll keep trying! It just creates a tremendous amount of anxiety for me! I'm afraid to go to sleep at night since it seems that is when things start to happen.
Last night, I tried sleeping on my side with my head elevated in the hospital bed. I had previously been sleeping with the bed flat, like I would at home. But I figured, I spend all day with the bed back up or slightly inclined and I don't notice contractions. I'm able to nap well with the back down a bit, but still up so I'm not lying flat, so I thought maybe it would work for nighttime.
Well, it seems it did. I didn't feel any contractions last night, and managed to sleep through most of the night without waking up. So I'm going to stick with that until it stops working. If nothing else, I think psychologically, it helped. I FEEL like it's helping!
This morning, the boys seem to have passed the NST. We're still waiting to hear from the doctor. But I hope there will be no need for an ultrasound. Baby One continues to be a superstar regardless of the low fluid. He now consistently has 15x15 accelerations when he only needs 10x10! However, as of 32 weeks, both babies will be held to the 15x15 standard to pass the test. (This means that during an acceleration, their heartbeats need to rise by 15 beats above the baseline instead of just 10 beats.) We'll see how they do! I hope we make it that far!!
The babies looked mostly fine, but I continued to contract. Baby One had a few decelerations during the contractions. So, that made them want to make sure he was tolerating the contractions ok. So they sent me back down to the labor and delivery floor. Third time in less than a week. I stayed there for a few hours, and when they were convinced the babies were ok, they sent me back up to my room on the recovery floor.
I thought I was in the clear. But around noon, my doctor came in with the doctor from the OB/GYN practice group who was actually on call yesterday. Not a good sign when 2 doctors come in to see you. It turns out, my CBC (white blood cell) count was a bit higher than they would have liked yesterday. They want to see it below 15. It was 18 on Thurs/Friday when I had first gone down for contractions. They chalked it up to the steroid shots I'd had earlier last week. The count was 17 yesterday. So it had gone down, but was still elevated. They were starting to suspect maybe there was an infection brewing. Oh boy.
It was Carlos's birthday, and he was having lunch with some friends of the office. The doctors told me to tell him go to lunch while they consulted with the Maternal and Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctors. However, they warned me that they may do amniocentesis to check Baby One's fluid (the one with the ruptured membrane) for infection. And, if there was any sign at all of infection, they'd induce me or do a C-section the same day. After Carlos was finished with lunch, we still hadn't heard back regarding what the plan was. So he came directly here.
Finally, a MFM doctor came to see us. The said that after much discussion, they had decided that I probably don't have an infection yet. They decided not to do the amnio and to just keep monitoring my vitals. They also decided to draw blood for a CBC count more often to make sure it was moving in the right direction. What a relief! I am not ready to deliver! I'll be 32 weeks on Monday, and they tell me there is a huge difference in brain development even between where I am now (31 weeks 3 days) and 32 weeks. So I want to at least make that goal. At the same time, it is looking less and less like I will make it to the ultimate goal of 12/8. You never know, but I'm not sure how much longer we can stave off labor or infection! I'll keep trying! It just creates a tremendous amount of anxiety for me! I'm afraid to go to sleep at night since it seems that is when things start to happen.
Last night, I tried sleeping on my side with my head elevated in the hospital bed. I had previously been sleeping with the bed flat, like I would at home. But I figured, I spend all day with the bed back up or slightly inclined and I don't notice contractions. I'm able to nap well with the back down a bit, but still up so I'm not lying flat, so I thought maybe it would work for nighttime.
Well, it seems it did. I didn't feel any contractions last night, and managed to sleep through most of the night without waking up. So I'm going to stick with that until it stops working. If nothing else, I think psychologically, it helped. I FEEL like it's helping!
This morning, the boys seem to have passed the NST. We're still waiting to hear from the doctor. But I hope there will be no need for an ultrasound. Baby One continues to be a superstar regardless of the low fluid. He now consistently has 15x15 accelerations when he only needs 10x10! However, as of 32 weeks, both babies will be held to the 15x15 standard to pass the test. (This means that during an acceleration, their heartbeats need to rise by 15 beats above the baseline instead of just 10 beats.) We'll see how they do! I hope we make it that far!!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Blogs I love
Here are my current blog inspirations...
http://itsnotacompetition.blogspot.com/ (my college roommate's blog about her fascinating life with 4 kids)
http://itsnotacompetition.blogspot.com/ (lots of creative ideas for house and home. She sews a lot...wish I could too!)
http://www.bowerpowerblog.com/ (about a little bit of everything: crafts and home projects, children, everyday life)
http://www.younghouselove.com/ (a young couple doing DIY projects on their house)
http://itsnotacompetition.blogspot.com/ (my college roommate's blog about her fascinating life with 4 kids)
http://itsnotacompetition.blogspot.com/ (lots of creative ideas for house and home. She sews a lot...wish I could too!)
http://www.bowerpowerblog.com/ (about a little bit of everything: crafts and home projects, children, everyday life)
http://www.younghouselove.com/ (a young couple doing DIY projects on their house)
31 week mark!
Today we hit the 31 week mark. Another goal met. Thank God.
I also had a measurement ultrasound. It turns out the babies are back to being very small for their gestational age again. Baby One weighs 3 lbs 3 oz, and Baby Two weighs 3 lbs 1 oz. That puts them at 11th percentile and 6th percentile, respectively. However, they are growing, and are significantly larger than when I came to the hospital at 26 weeks and 6 days. Furthermore, the blood flow through the umbilical cords is fine. So I'll take it. There are babies born at much smaller weights than these are right now. Next goal: 32 weeks. It would make me SO HAPPY to make it to that mark...from there, for some reason, it seems like just a small jump to our ultimate goal of 34 weeks.
Today I had a visit from one of my mom's college friends. Despite hearing all about her for the past few years, I had never met her. Yet she took the time to drive up to Boston from the Cape to visit me. She brought the most gorgeous, original arrangement of flowers. I absolutely love them. Here's a photo taken with Carlos's new iphone.
He got "creative" with the photo angle, since it's taken from above. But at least you can see the colors and variety. Love them!!
I've had a steady stream of visitors since day one from family, close family friends, colleagues, and like today, people who I've never even met before. They have all come with food, chocolate, books, sudoku, and stories to keep me occupied. The thoughtfulness and attention to detail to try to make me happy has truly been touching. I have come to realize that when I get out of the hospital, I need to pay it forward and be equally (if not even more) thoughtful when friends and acquaintances of mine are in need. I will make a conscious effort to come through for people the way people have for me. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends that I can count on when in need.
I also had a measurement ultrasound. It turns out the babies are back to being very small for their gestational age again. Baby One weighs 3 lbs 3 oz, and Baby Two weighs 3 lbs 1 oz. That puts them at 11th percentile and 6th percentile, respectively. However, they are growing, and are significantly larger than when I came to the hospital at 26 weeks and 6 days. Furthermore, the blood flow through the umbilical cords is fine. So I'll take it. There are babies born at much smaller weights than these are right now. Next goal: 32 weeks. It would make me SO HAPPY to make it to that mark...from there, for some reason, it seems like just a small jump to our ultimate goal of 34 weeks.
He got "creative" with the photo angle, since it's taken from above. But at least you can see the colors and variety. Love them!!
I've had a steady stream of visitors since day one from family, close family friends, colleagues, and like today, people who I've never even met before. They have all come with food, chocolate, books, sudoku, and stories to keep me occupied. The thoughtfulness and attention to detail to try to make me happy has truly been touching. I have come to realize that when I get out of the hospital, I need to pay it forward and be equally (if not even more) thoughtful when friends and acquaintances of mine are in need. I will make a conscious effort to come through for people the way people have for me. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends that I can count on when in need.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Stuck in bed...
I'd love to write about some creative project or a recent adventure. But right now I'm on complete hospital bedrest at Brigham and Women's in Boston. I've been here a month and am shooting for a month more.
My water broke in the middle of the night on October 15th. I called the doctor and, of course, they told me to come in to the hospital to be checked out. I gushed pretty much the whole way to the hospital and tried to convince myself that it was just one of the boys pushing on my bladder...
When I got to the hospital, they left me in the waiting room for about 20 minutes to a half an hour. It felt like forever. Finally, they brought me to a triage cubicle and hooked me up to the non stress test (NST) monitors. At first, they couldn't find the second baby. I was convinced he'd been lost. They actually brought in the portable ultrasound machine to locate him. But, thank God, there he was. It was the first of many scares that were to come.
After being hooked up to the NST monitors, they monitored the babies for a while. They also checked my cervix very very quickly. What I feared was confirmed--Baby One's water had broken. There was so much fluid they couldn't even see my cervix, so they had no idea if I was going into labor or not. After a few minutes, they transferred me to the labor floor to a very uncomfortable bed and left me hooked up to the NST monitors indefinitely. They put in an IV and gave me erythromycin, magnesium (which makes you lethargic and causes your hands and feet to burn up), and other liquids. They also administered the first dose of a course of steroids to help the babies' lungs mature in case they had to deliver the babies. In order for the steroids to work, they needed to give me a second shot 24 hours later and then let that take effect for 24 hours. So we were all hoping that both me and the babies could last at least 48 hours before they were delivered. Otherwise, at 26 weeks and 6 days, their lungs would not be as mature as the doctors would like. They also tested for infection to see if that is why my water broke. If I did have an infection, they would not hesitate in doing a C-section to remove the babies. They preferred to work with a very young baby than a baby infected with an infection.
The first 48 hours were pretty tense. We waited and waited for any indication of whether or not I would go into labor. They sent neonatologists, anesthesiologists, maternal and fetal medicine, and even the chaplain to see us. We notified family who started prayer chains and got the "prayer warriors" to work on our behalf. And we waited. Test results came back--thank God, I had no infection.
On Monday, they sent me down for an ultrasound for a Biophysical Profile (BPP). Things had quieted down a bit, and it looked like I wasn't going into immediate labor. During the ultrasound, Baby One didn't move. He had no fluid. He had no tone. He wasn't doing practice breathing. The ultrasound tec was not the friendliest I have met, and at the end of the ultrasound, she sent me to the recovery rooms (not the labor floor) and told me that she'd given Baby One (who broke the membrane) a 0 out of a potential 8 points. Basically, the baby was alive, but not much else. She also mentioned that Baby Two (who still had his fluid) was extremely small for the gestational age. She said Baby One was 2 lbs 5 oz or about 54th percentile. Baby One was 1 lb 13 oz and 4th percentile. So on top of having a baby without amniotic fluid, we now had a baby that seemed growth restricted. Each baby had his own serious issues. I was terrified.
Transport came for me and they brought me up to the recovery floor where I told the nurses what had happened with the ultrasound. I mentioned that perhaps I should not be on the recovery floor but be returned to the labor floor given the results of the ultrasound. They didn't even wheel me into my new room. They brought me straight back down to labor and hooked me up to the NST monitors again. I stayed there another few days. Finally, they did another ultrasound and BPP, and both babies were fine. I was not in labor and the steroid shots had taken effect--I was "beta complete." So they finally took me off the monitors 24/7 and put me up in the recovery rooms where I could be monitored but didn't have to lie on my back in an uncomfortable bed hooked up to monitors all day every day.
Carlos stayed with me that entire first week at the hospital and never left my side. He brought me anything and everything I needed and gave me the support I needed to get through. He was strong for me, and I was amazingly relaxed and not stressed given the circumstances. I am a worrier....I worry constantly. But probably for the first time ever, I was calm, collected, and even accepting of the situation. I realized that worrying would do NOTHING to help the babies. If anything, stress would harm them or bring on labor. So I did what I could to just lay low and stay calm. I've always known I have a great, loving, caring husband who would be an amazing father. But this experience only served as proof as to how special he is.
Vistors came by with flowers, books, food, and other things to keep me occupied. I got emails, cards, and phone calls. Both of our employers were extremely helpful and understanding. It felt great to feel the support of those who love us. It kept us going.
After a week in the hospital, I began to settle into a routine. I thought bedrest would be my worst nightmare, and while I didn't particularly enjoy it, I found that it was not nearly as bad as I expected. Mornings were spent ordering breakfast and waiting 45 minutes for it to be delivered. Then the NST. Sometimes the babies would pass, and sometimes they would miss being reactive by a small margin. When they didn't pass the NST, we'd be sent down for an ultrasound and a BPP. It seemed that every other day I'd be having an ultrasound, and the baby that "failed" the test would always flip flop. It was never the same one. Yet despite all the test results, I felt good movement in my belly. They boys have quite strong kicks and were often rolling around inside, moving my entire belly.
After lunch, I'd watch HGTV and the Food Network. Then I'd read or nap. Carlos would stop by after work around 4:30 and he'd stay to eat dinner with me before going home to sleep. Visitors still kept coming. The days went by fairly quickly.
Two weeks after the first ultrasound that was so depressing, we had another measurement ultrasound. They only measure every 2 weeks so that they can see significant growth trends over time and not the small fluctuations that would drive an expectant mother crazy! Low and behold, Baby Two had grown and was now the same size as Baby One! Baby One was 2 lbs 11 oz and Baby Two was 2 lbs 10 oz!!! Neither baby was considered large, but they were on the smaller side of normal. I wasn't complaining about the news!!! We had a tiny miracle! Either the original measurements were off or Baby Two was benefiting from bedrest (or both!).
After almost a month on bedrest, I woke up in the middle of the night and found that my clear discharge of amniotic fluid had turned pink. I called the nurse. They sent me back down to the labor rooms to be monitored constantly. I called my husband. They found I was having fairly regular contractions, although they were not painful to me. They hooked me up to an IV to get me fluids to see if that would calm down the contractions. I was there from 3:30AM until lunchtime the next day before the contractions were sparse enough that they felt comfortable enough to send me back upstairs.
The next night, at around 2AM, I called the nurse because I was having more contractions. This time, I could feel them a bit more. They brought me back down to the labor room and hooked me up to the NST monitors and the IV again. Luckily, once again, the contractions quieted down and by about 9AM, they brought me back up to my room on the recovery floor. I'd staved off labor twice, but no one could guarantee this wasn't the beginning of labor. They didn't want to look at my cervix because of the risk of infection with a broken membrane.
Last night, I made it through the night without any pink discharge or contractions. I'm hoping that things will be quiet again tonight. Tomorrow I will be 31 weeks, but I have 34 weeks and 4 days as my goal. They have scheduled a C-section (or they will induce me) on 12/8. That is the latest they would leave the babies in my belly, as at that point, the risk of infection is much higher than the risks of just taking them out. That's still over 3 weeks away. Before, when things were quiet, I was confident I could reach this goal. I'm still optimistic, but I'm also cognizant of the fact that I'm lucky to have made it this far. I will do anything I can to hold out for these boys, but they may come at any time. And if they do, I need to be prepared mentally and physically for it. At the very least, I'm so grateful to have bought my boys 4 additional weeks in the womb. Every day counts.
Tomorrow we have another ultrasound and they will take measurements again. I am anxious to see if both boys continue to be about the same size and if they are growing at the rate that the doctors want. My belly has grown, and I feel lots of fetal movement, so I am optimistic that the boys are healthy, strong, and growing inside. More later.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
¡Bienvenidos!
An unwritten blog is like a blank sheet of paper or an empty notebook. I love the possibility of a blank slate, but I am always intimidated to start. Once I put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), I feel locked in a direction.
This blog will be different. I need a creative outlet to talk about EVERYTHING in my life. I'm not sure if anyone will ever read it, or if I'll even want anyone to read it. But it will serve to document daily, weekly, and monthly highlights in our lives.
Why call it Love and Spice? Well, why not? I was watching Cook's Country today on PBS and Christopher Kimball was visiting a spicy fried chicken joint in Nashville, TN. When asked for the secret recipe, the owner of the restaurant they were visiting said it was made with love and spices. I think that's what life is--love and spice--the variety, events, and changes that are inevitable, but that keep life interesting or "spicy." Plus, I have a Mexican husband who loves spicy food more than almost anything in the world. So it seemed appropriate.
I only recently got into following other people's blogs. I guess it started withy my college roommate, Aja, who writes one hell of a blog about her family's adventures. She has 4 kids, lots of farm animals, and a really fascinating story to tell every day. Once I was introduced to the world of blogging through Aja's blog, I started looking at blogs about frugality, couponing, daily deals, and how to save money. While I found these interesting, they are very one-dimensional. This is useful when you want to look at daily deals that are available out there. But from these sites, I discovered others written by women who basically just shared their passion for crafting, raising children, and home improvement on their blogs. I started to realize maybe you don't need a specific mission to get people to read your blog. Nor do you have to have a reason to write down your thoughts. So here I am.
At this point in my life, I'm interested in quite a few things.
1. I love cooking and the Food Network. I hope to share recipes and entertaining ideas. I relish Martha Stewart Magazine, although I rarely if ever cook anything or make anything from her magazine. I need to change that.
2. I wish I were craftier. Or better said, I wish I found the time to do crafts more often. I think I have the ideas and talent, but I lack the initiative to just get started! (Kinda like this blog....)
3. I like to yard sale and go to thrift stores, but I am not the pro that I want to be. I am so jealous of people who consistently find treasures in these places.
4. Beer. Enough said. I love trying new beers, especially microbrews. I would eventually love to brew my own.
5. DIY/Home improvement/home decorating. My husband and I bought a condo that needed quite a bit of cosmetic work almost 3 years ago. We've been doing projects around the house and yard ever since. We hope to buy a single family home south of Boston soon.
6. Money, finances, and tightwadding. If anyone's read Amy Dacyczyn's The Tightwad Gazette, I really admire her ingenuity and values. While I think a lot of her book is now outdated for 2011/2012, there is still so much about her life philosophy that is valuable. I have a lot to learn from this woman.
7. I love to explore and do outdoor activities. I discovered mountain biking a few years ago, and I absolutely love it. Last year, my husband and I bought road bikes. I love to hike, camp, and just get out and explore new towns on foot or by car.
8. Raising children and being a working mom. In June, my husband and I found out we are expecting fraternal twins (2 boys!). Wow. What an adventure! I really HAVE to work. I cannot give up my job with the expenses we currently have, so I need to find a way to make being a working mom function--at least for the time being.
9. I'm also interested in raising bilingual children (English and Spanish) since my husband is extremely proud of being Mexican. I've worked more than half my life to become fluent in Spanish, so it seems absolutely ridiculous not to give the gift of a second language to my children right from birth.
10. Along with raising bilingual children, there is never a dull moment in my life due to the multicultural nature of my marriage. While things have gotten easier as we each have come to understand the other's cultural background, there are still interesting issues that pop up from time to time. I used to write about them online for Mexconnect.com....
11. Traditions and holidays. I LOVE a good holiday, like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I love the festivity and tradition associated with each. I also love the Mexican Day of the Dead (Nov. 1) and Mexican Independence Day (Sept. 16, NOT May 5!). I have spent a great deal of time since getting pregnant brainstorming about different holiday traditions my family had growing up and how I can adapt or incorporate them into my future life with 2 twin boys and a Mexican husband. I am also thrilled at the idea of being able to come up with our own new family traditions. And not just for holidays. I love traditions for any time of year.
Perhaps this is a lot to bite off in a blog. But it doesn't mean I will write about all of these things all of the time. But at 32 years old with twins on the way, this is my state of mind and these are my interests. And why not write about what you love?
This blog will be different. I need a creative outlet to talk about EVERYTHING in my life. I'm not sure if anyone will ever read it, or if I'll even want anyone to read it. But it will serve to document daily, weekly, and monthly highlights in our lives.
Why call it Love and Spice? Well, why not? I was watching Cook's Country today on PBS and Christopher Kimball was visiting a spicy fried chicken joint in Nashville, TN. When asked for the secret recipe, the owner of the restaurant they were visiting said it was made with love and spices. I think that's what life is--love and spice--the variety, events, and changes that are inevitable, but that keep life interesting or "spicy." Plus, I have a Mexican husband who loves spicy food more than almost anything in the world. So it seemed appropriate.
I only recently got into following other people's blogs. I guess it started withy my college roommate, Aja, who writes one hell of a blog about her family's adventures. She has 4 kids, lots of farm animals, and a really fascinating story to tell every day. Once I was introduced to the world of blogging through Aja's blog, I started looking at blogs about frugality, couponing, daily deals, and how to save money. While I found these interesting, they are very one-dimensional. This is useful when you want to look at daily deals that are available out there. But from these sites, I discovered others written by women who basically just shared their passion for crafting, raising children, and home improvement on their blogs. I started to realize maybe you don't need a specific mission to get people to read your blog. Nor do you have to have a reason to write down your thoughts. So here I am.
At this point in my life, I'm interested in quite a few things.
1. I love cooking and the Food Network. I hope to share recipes and entertaining ideas. I relish Martha Stewart Magazine, although I rarely if ever cook anything or make anything from her magazine. I need to change that.
2. I wish I were craftier. Or better said, I wish I found the time to do crafts more often. I think I have the ideas and talent, but I lack the initiative to just get started! (Kinda like this blog....)
3. I like to yard sale and go to thrift stores, but I am not the pro that I want to be. I am so jealous of people who consistently find treasures in these places.
4. Beer. Enough said. I love trying new beers, especially microbrews. I would eventually love to brew my own.
5. DIY/Home improvement/home decorating. My husband and I bought a condo that needed quite a bit of cosmetic work almost 3 years ago. We've been doing projects around the house and yard ever since. We hope to buy a single family home south of Boston soon.
6. Money, finances, and tightwadding. If anyone's read Amy Dacyczyn's The Tightwad Gazette, I really admire her ingenuity and values. While I think a lot of her book is now outdated for 2011/2012, there is still so much about her life philosophy that is valuable. I have a lot to learn from this woman.
7. I love to explore and do outdoor activities. I discovered mountain biking a few years ago, and I absolutely love it. Last year, my husband and I bought road bikes. I love to hike, camp, and just get out and explore new towns on foot or by car.
8. Raising children and being a working mom. In June, my husband and I found out we are expecting fraternal twins (2 boys!). Wow. What an adventure! I really HAVE to work. I cannot give up my job with the expenses we currently have, so I need to find a way to make being a working mom function--at least for the time being.
9. I'm also interested in raising bilingual children (English and Spanish) since my husband is extremely proud of being Mexican. I've worked more than half my life to become fluent in Spanish, so it seems absolutely ridiculous not to give the gift of a second language to my children right from birth.
10. Along with raising bilingual children, there is never a dull moment in my life due to the multicultural nature of my marriage. While things have gotten easier as we each have come to understand the other's cultural background, there are still interesting issues that pop up from time to time. I used to write about them online for Mexconnect.com....
11. Traditions and holidays. I LOVE a good holiday, like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I love the festivity and tradition associated with each. I also love the Mexican Day of the Dead (Nov. 1) and Mexican Independence Day (Sept. 16, NOT May 5!). I have spent a great deal of time since getting pregnant brainstorming about different holiday traditions my family had growing up and how I can adapt or incorporate them into my future life with 2 twin boys and a Mexican husband. I am also thrilled at the idea of being able to come up with our own new family traditions. And not just for holidays. I love traditions for any time of year.
Perhaps this is a lot to bite off in a blog. But it doesn't mean I will write about all of these things all of the time. But at 32 years old with twins on the way, this is my state of mind and these are my interests. And why not write about what you love?
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